Q.What motivated you to write Toxic People?
A. I was a corporate executive for over 25 years, very successful but difficult as well. My company sent me to charm school, which was a leadership training for executives having people problems. After my second round at charm school, I began to understand that I was in charge of my toxic behaviour, and only I could change it. So, I retired from my corporate life in 1992. I had always wanted to write and get into public speaking. Today, I am a retired corporate executive who speaks about dealing with difficult people, communicating results, managing change, and personal responsibility, to name a few. My stories are based on my experience both personal and professional.
Q. Tell us about the different personalities of employees? Who amongst them is the most difficult one?
A. When I wrote the book, I identified six types of toxic behaviours, namely Steamroller, Know It All, Backstabber, Needy Weenie, Whine and Cheeser, and Zipper Lip. Backstabbers are the most difficult ones to handle. They gather people behind your back, and strike at the most inopportune time by raising issues that appear to have the support of the group. Their ultimate goal is to blind side someone.
Q. What is your opinion on HR’s understanding about the psychology of every employee? How successful HR has been in understanding them till date?
A. I think, it is important to use some kind of assessment tool to help people identify their own behavioural pattern, and thus, help leaders in better managing their people. If companies are the proponents of lifelong learning and development, then they are on the right track of understanding what they want and who they need to achieve their goals.
Q. How important are the personality tests of employees for an organisation? What are the major drawbacks of these tests?
A. These tests are quite important. In the United States, approximately 80 per cent of the Fortune 100 companies use them. They help both the employee and company leverage individual skills to maximise success.
One major loophole is that they are not interpreted by professionals. I am a certified Myers Briggs Type Indicator practitioner, and understand the critical importance of validating the clarity of the assessment with the individual prior to using any data for self development.
Q. What ways and tactics do you suggest while dealing with difficult people?
A. Look for people who want to take responsibility for their relationships and outcomes. Blame game and excuses are not acceptable. Everyone can improve their communication, especially when resolving conflict. Use the fogging technique, for example first saying ‘you may be right. Help me better understand where you are coming from’, and then listen, besides asking more questions. When you respond instead of giving a negative reaction, you can identify the real problem and discuss the alternatives.
Q. If a company’s HR keeps employees of similar personality traits together in a team, the productivity will improve. Do you agree?
A. It is not necessary. You need a mix, like the people-oriented employees, task-oriented planners, employees with high energy level, and bottom line. You must have a diverse group to drive creativity and a wide range of solutions. Thus, team building using assessment tools, such as MBIT, is critical. You should know everyone in your team and leverage their behaviours to maximise outcomes. Team awareness is more important than ever considering that they are being asked to do more with less and in less time.
Q. People are usually unaware of their toxic behaviour and mostly driven by their negativity. They generally do not judge their actions. What role can HR play in handling the people who are negative, arrogant and aggressive?
A. I believe that job descriptions should include soft skills, such as resolving conflict, building relationships and communication of grievances. This eliminates the ‘I did not know’ aspect in the employees.
Q. How can the HR of an organisation utilise the difficult personality traits of people in increasing the productivity and business efficiency?
A. This can be done by:
• Building self-awareness and informing people that their individual behaviour does impact the team. Set standards with the employees and determine what the consequences should be.
• Determining building blocks and consequences in addressing the difficult personality traits.
• Use a leadership scorecard for a 360 degree view of the perception others have of an individual. Then, set goals for yourself based on where you think you are and how others actually perceive you.
Q. What should be done by a subordinate when his/her reporting manager dons a difficult and toxic personality?
A. A subordinate should be firm by using an assertive communication model. A reporting manager should be asked for help. Expect their support while building ground rules with the team.
